Monday, March 16, 2015

OLI’S BLOG: HO HO OFF TO WORK WE GO

Photo by Gary Perkin/Cape Epic/SPORTZPICS

Photo by Gary Perkin/Cape Epic/SPORTZPICS

With Al ‘The Weapon” Davies’ nuts in a vice at graft, this year’s Epic didn’t look as if it was ever going to happen. As his phone rang incessantly and emails flew around the office, the vice viciously and vigorously tightened its grip. With the clock ticking, the Weapon unfortunately had to make the call, he was out.

As luck would have it, Charles Keey (aka Charlie Boy) had recently retired from the professional ranks and was ready to perform a super-sub for the swerving Al Davies. Taking over the reins from The Weapon, Charlie Boy had big shoes to fill as Big Al The Power “is one hellava man for one man*” (*as so eloquently quoted by The Gobshite).

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With our usual Kenton suffer-fest (read December/January base miles) spent water-skiing, charfing chicks in bikinis, playing rummy, stupidly running 18km in one go and necking 17 ammies, our form was not exactly in tip top shape when we confirmed our entry on the 19th of January with Novus Holdings. Better late than never we thought.

Having broken the shackles of realism and become relentless optimists during our time in Kenton (it’s a long story) both Charlie Boy and I were overjoyed at the idea of bleeding through another Cape Epic. With five under the belt for both of us, we would be relying heavily on muscle memory.

With our Kenton shenanigans worlds away, we found ourselves on the UCT field yesterday ready to lock and load at precisely 11:36:05. To summarize, it was hot, it was fast, it was dusty, and, unsurprisingly, we bled. The usual story, except for the fact that, for a vibe, we were riding in chambray cotton G-Star button-up shirts and baggies.

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Photo by Hanno Lategan

Photo by Kate Loggie

Photo by Kate Loggie

"Dressed For Success" Photo by Nicci B Photgraphy

“Dressed For Success” Photo by Nicci B Photgraphy

Being an untested and somewhat unorthodox approach to cycling apparel it was fortunately a result well received by the cheering supporters on the prologue route as well as today’s Stage 1. High Fives for rolling the dice. With the prologue pinned, our Swift Evil Twins packed and a beer in hand for morale, we booked out of Cape Town headed for Elgin. Fast forward 24 hours and we have survived Stage One and are now lying in our beds in a world of pain, which will only get worse as the week’s activities continue.

Photo by Nick Muzik/Cape Epic/SPORTZPICS

Photo by Nick Muzik/Cape Epic/SPORTZPICS

Photo by Gary Perkin/Cape Epic/SPORTZPICS

Photo by Gary Perkin/Cape Epic/SPORTZPICS

The overcast and cool conditions were diametrically opposed to the early pace being set by the leaders. Drizzle finally greeted us about two hours in with temperatures thankfully remaining relatively high – emaciated cyclists struggle in cold weather! Despite losing 20mins after puncturing, having smashed into a hidden rock so hard it felt as if my wheel had cracked in half, we managed to complete Stage One in a respectable 31st. Not that bad for two hackers with day jobs.

Tomorrow morning, at the crack of dawn, we’ll lie in bed and consult the ride guide to get an idea of what Stage Two holds. Until then, ignorance is bliss. It’s time for an ice cold Duvel and a 300g steak.

If you’re reading this having ridden today – awesome job, you’re a weapon! If not, raise a glass to toast the riders who made it, or on a more sombre note, to commiserate with those who didn’t.

The Epic can be cruel.

Ciao ciao

Oli

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